An Ode to a Daughter

megan swagI realize with a title like that you will be expecting some high prose or poetry. Not one to disappoint, I will now wow you with my mad poetry skills which won me a publication in the National Library of Poetry. Yes, National Library.

An Ode to a Daughter, by Janine Wegner, poet emeritus Wegnerus

Megan, dearest Megan.

Today you turn eighteen

and while your birth was no dream,

you have become a daughter worthy of your own meme.

How can I express my love for you?

By sharing the many things that make you, you.

The fact that you are lovely to look at is obvious for everyone to see

But there have been days that you could have tried to be a bit more pretty. IMG_3412

You are very passionate about everything you do

It makes me so proud and amazed how you have become “you”

IMG_3797I have to admit there are days that I wish you were still three

You were adorable and fun and everything I would want a daughter to be

But now you are getting ready to fly the coop

You will have your own life, maybe you can work for “Goop” (please don’t) IMG_3796

I have more to write and so much to share

but for now I will just say that I love that you are dingy, clumsy, cranky and have special ways that you show you care.

It is going to be strange to have you leave our home

but I know that God is with you wherever you may roam

So enjoy your last months here

and always remember that mommy is near.IMG_3794

I am Woman, Hear Me Roar (or: Update)

Update: Today was the day. —No, I already need to edit that beginning because it’s now been almost three months since I started writing this post and then got sidetracked by other things, like lamenting the fact that pregnancy hormones seem to be eating my brain cells, and wondering if all those thousands of lost brain cells will ever regenerate. SO. Edited beginning: November 19 was the day.

The Big Ultrasound day!! You know, the one where they’re able to check in on the baby’s development, take all sorts of measurements, observe the baby’s movements and, based on all that, determine the probability of the child achieving great athletic success one day. No, that’s silly—no ultrasound can determine that, but they did assure us that, based on my genetic contribution alone, it’s very unlikely. Oh yeah, and it’s also the ultrasound where you get to find out the gender—shockingly, it’s a girl! A GIRL!! #gamechanger #cantwaittointroducehertoamericangirldolls #johnissuperexcitedtogettopayforaweddingsomeday

(Here I should note that neither our very own Janine nor my three-year-old, Jacob, were surprised by this news—they’ve both been fairly certain from the beginning that this Baby #3 was a girl/is a girl/has always been a girl.)

I love Minnesota in winter! Not really--we fled the cold and went to Florida for a few days, where we met many other people from Minnesota.

I love Minnesota in winter! Not really–we fled the cold and went to Florida for a few days, where we met many other people from Minnesota.

So we’re excited. And now that we know we’re having a girl, I’ll be honest: with all confidence, I can say that we would have been equally thrilled to find out that we were having another boy. Not what you thought I was going to say, I know—you thought that right there was where I confess that I had been secretly rooting for a girl🙂. John and I had heard all the variations on the “good luck getting that girl” theme, and all along, we really, truly just. did. not. care.


I love being a mom to boys. And I will love being a mom to my girl. So anyway, we’re thrilled with the baby girl God is giving us🙂.

Both John and I are lucky enough to be in multi-generational Bible studies that include people from different ages and stages of life, and it seems that the one thing that people with grown children care about most has nothing to do with their children’s accomplishments growing up, nothing to do with their children’s successes (or failures) as adults. Nah—the one thing they care about the most is whether or not their children have grown up to know and love the Lord. That’s it. If they do, it’s their parents’ great joy; if they don’t, it’s their parents’ great sorrow and most fervent prayer.

And so we continue to pray for this baby’s good health, growth, and development. We pray for her to know God’s comfort, joy, and love as she is so fearfully and wonderfully knit together. Mostly, though, we pray for her—just as we do for Jacob and Noah—to know Jesus, to love Him, to live for Him, and to have joy in His presence all the days of her life. [Want a great, no, fantastic, no, best-I’ve-ever-read devotional article to get you started on building this legacy of prayer for your kiddos? Check out this treasure written by Mark Batterson—author of The Circle Maker and Praying Circles Around Your Children—for Proverbs 31 Ministries: Your Greatest Legacy].

In other news, here’s a recap of the past several months going back to when I first went to ground, so to speak:


  • Discovered I was pregnant. As my brother would add: as usual.
  • Also discovered that, as with Jacob and Noah’s pregnancies, I would again be horribly sick. All day. Every day. Jacob took this in stride, possibly because he had some imprinted memory of me spending a lot of time hunched over the toilet throwing up while pregnant with Noah. Noah, by contrast, found my new, loud pastime very troubling, and Jacob did his best to comfort Noah. In one particularly touching episode, Noah was watching—sobbing—from the bathroom door and Jacob came up to Noah, put an arm around him, and very seriously explained, “It’s okay, Noah. Sometimes Mommy just has to roar like a lion.” Which was actually a pretty accurate description.


  • Spent my days roaring like a lion. Think Princess Kate’s widely reported difficult pregnancy, but without the palace staff.

    Things I’m thankful for: Zofran. Phenergan.

One day in July-November

  • Ventured out with the boys for a walk around one of Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes because it was a beautiful day and we were all starting to get that sallow look of lions who never go outside. After twice having to careen off into the bushes to be publicly sick, though, I said forget THIS and we basically never left the house again.
  • Have you discovered online grocery shopping? It’s amazing.


  • Gradually started roaring like a lion a little less.
  • Gradually started showering a little more (when I’m in the throes of morning all-the-time sickness, the gentle pitter-patter of a shower spray feels more like a nauseating assault by a power washer, so regular showers were one of the first things to go).
  • Gradually started liking food again, particularly Doritos. By the bagful.
  • Gradually rejoined society.
As you might imagine, there is not a lot of sleep happening in there these days. Noah has made it his mission to show Jacob all the ways he could have been avoiding bedtime these past few years.

As you might imagine, there is not a lot of sleep happening in there these days. Noah has made it his mission to show Jacob all the ways he could have been avoiding bedtime these past few years.

Which brings us to present-day: For a week and a half now, the boys have been sharing a room in preparation for the new baby’s arrival and takeover of the baby room. Providentially for Jacob and Noah, this arrangement has coincided with their developmental milestone of discovering potty humor and its never-ending hilarity.

JACOB: Hey, Noah, what were you saying about POTTY??


BOTH BOYS: [laugh uproariously until they fall down]

So that’s my life right now. I hope that by rejoining society, I’ll be a more regular presence here at The Real Mommy Diaries again, too—I’ve missed our conversations here—although, like showering, my posts will likely be sporadic for a while longer…like, until after the baby arrives…oh, wait, I guess until after the baby arrives and starts sleeping through the night. So I guess you can count on regular posts from me again about a year from now.

After many Valentine's Days, John knows the way to my heart: flowers and Doritos. Mostly Doritos.

After many Valentine’s Days, John knows the way to my heart: flowers and Doritos. But mostly Doritos.

That dose of reality kind of makes me want to cry. Or laugh in a scary, hysterical way that turns to crying. Or go eat some more Doritos—I’ll go with that.

Hugs, Mamas!

Related post: Mommy Peer Pressure: It’s A Thing



We’ve Been Keeping Secrets

IMG_2871It has been too long since we have posted here in our hallowed virtual halls. Surely, there has been an outcry on social media wondering where we have been: #wherearerealmoms, #didjaninefinallyfallunderpileoflaundry. Not to worry friends, our reasons for our absences will be revealed today and we assure you that we are committed as ever to providing our pithy and pragmatic family advice and observations.

As mom bloggers, we understand that there is an expectation that we are supermoms, perfectly negotiating each stage and phase of parenting all while providing USDA-approved meals for the homestead. Unfortunately, Fortunately, we are not your typical mom bloggers.

Case in point, and time for the first confession of RMD, (I have to get up my courage for this one, it is a MAJOR parenting failure) Elli, that sweet little thing you see in the picture above, is a night-time tormentor. This kid does not require sleep. Strangely, I do. So, my secret for the last month is that Elli, at almost the age of two, has started awaking at night multiple times with (not sweet) cries of “MAMA!!!”

So, full disclosure, Elli just started sleeping through the night like four months ago after some hard-core “sleep therapy” (PC speak for “just let the kid cry”). During this time, I spent many hours lying on the floor in her room while she vacillated between screaming and whimpering to be removed from her night-time jail cell. I got tough, persevered through, and after many sleepless nights, she slept…all night…night after night. At first, I actually felt tired in the morning because my body had to adjust to getting more than three hours of sleep at a time. But, I happily acclimated to my new circumstances.

Then, around the beginning of September, she started getting up multiple times again–imagine if you will, the sleep schedule of a newborn with the attitude of a two-year-old. Let’s just say the Zombie Apocalypse no longer frightens me–I became one. And thus, the reason for my lax in attending to our burgeoning readership (imagine whiniest voice possible): I was just so tired, my brain was fried, my body sore from hours of camping out on the floor. Surely, you can understand my need for any sleep I got (whiny voice over).

So, thank you for your patience and I assure you we are as committed as ever to sharing our stories and perspectives. Now, I am certain that some of you upon reading “We have been keeping secrets” thought, “Has that crazy 43-year-old gone and gotten herself knocked up again?” I assure you, dear readers, I have allowed science to take care of what common sense and biology could not. No, I am not pregnant BUT one of your RMD bloggers is. Yes, I am happy to share that Marisa has been keeping the ultimate secret: She is pregnant!

You may have noticed that she has not posted in a while. While she and John are thrilled to be parents to their third child, she has been extremely nauseous with this pregnancy and has just recently been able to find her way out of her pajamas most days (much to the John’s joy). She will be sharing with us  next week her stories from the past few months (we promise no more than five uses of the terms “barf” and “puke”). Please keep her in your prayers as she begins to make her way back into both the real and virtual worlds.

Thank you to our wonderful readers. Some great stories will be coming your way!

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